read various chapters of this autobiography by going to the Individual Stories menu to the right.

Thursday, January 1, 1970

Alta dies. Six years old and thinking about death

When I was six years old, one morning I woke, walked to my mom and dad's bed and my dad said my grandmother (his mom), Alta, was dead. I had spent most weekends at her place since I was a baby. (I'll do a full entry about her and her husband Bill, she was divorced from my real a matter of fact both of my grandmothers were their own choice, a rarity in those times).
We went to the funeral, I think it was my first one.

Of course I learned about the words death and dying, like any child does on their first meaningful exposure to tragedy. What was atypical in my household was my mom's religion and my dad's void of religion. My mom was raised Christadelphian. They believe when non-Christadelphians die, they are as dead as a squirrel. Most of all human kind are not Christadelphians, so they teach a harsh worldview much like an Atheist. My dad was an atheist. So I didn't get any cutesy nicey words about Alta or any one else being in paradise.

Whatever and however I was taught about death, I do recall vividly what I believed: it was totally darkness and unconsciousness, forever. No need to put more profound fancy words on it -never thinking a single thought ever again for eternity sums it all up.

I remember walking around my home at 1619 Broadway and thinking about this a lot. It shaped me for the rest of my life.

Of late I've returned to the subject in my inner thoughts, since my son was born. I still believe what I believed at six years old. All I've added since six is a belief in the value of the information we leave behind, which is totally why I've written a few books and this blog. Some of what we are is this organic glom of heat, action...dynamism. That's analog and largely is lost with the loss of life.

Another perspective is for a person to be represented by a profile of interests, jobs, schools attended, places visited, spouses, children, dance clubs visited, cars owned, etc etc etc. For rock stars like John Lennon we regularly refer to him by listing some part of of his discography...once again a profile. I want to leave behind my profile, I want it easily accessed on the web, archived forever. This isn't hubris, I think every one is just as special, the world would be more intelligent and enriched with honest records of regular people for posterity.
The author of this blog also has two books available on Amazon. Athena Techne uses some of the autobiographical content of this blog and adds a philosophical perspective utilizing the ancient Greek god Athena.

Athena Techne :: Page

Autistic Crow Computer is a fiction set in Seattle, about an autistic boy and two crows. The book was written for young autistic readers, although reviews by non-autistics have been positive.

Autistic Crow Computer :: Page

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